In The Midst of Change

Yesterday afternoon Yvonne and I took a short walk over to some friends to see their newborn baby. The little guy was born last Wednesday AM into a family that includes a three year-old brother, six year-old half-brother, his dad Chris, and a very relieved to no longer be pregnant mom Jen.

As Yvonne and Jen discussed all things baby, commenting on little toes, wrinkles, nails, and very small clothing, Chris and I discussed the changes that are upon our respective families. Chris and Jen are in one of the beginning phases of family life. Yvonne and I are in a place where we are phasing out of the roles we have been playing as parents, and into uncharted territories of our own.

As our Jenn heads rapidly toward marriage, and Dillon moves in that same direction at a slower pace, Yvonne and I find ourselves in a place that we welcome with open arms. Watching my children move through the different stages from adolescence into adulthood has been quite enjoyable for me. Seeing their maturation, improved decision making, and growth gives me a sense that we’ve done some things the right way.

In addition to Jenn’s and Dillon’s growth, we are watching Alyssa develop towards young adulthood in her own way. This summer she is traveling with the Blue Devils B Drum and Bugle Corps. For two months she will be traveling, rehearsing, training, eating, and sleeping with her corps. When she returns home I expect to a “new and improved”, more mature, more disciplined, more driven version of our sixteen year-old.

Some have asked if Yvonne and I are struggling with all of these changes. The answer is simply, “no”. The process of Jenn’s “moving out” began seven years ago when she went to college in Missouri. She has had a couple of stints when she has come back to live with us, but for the most part has been out of the house since 2003. Dillon moved out of the house and into the dorm in 2005. His process of becoming his own man is the type that I wish for all young men. He has had ups and downs, but has persevered and grown through his challenges.

Others have questioned whether Yvonne and I are having trouble “letting go” of our kids. That answer is another resounding “no”. Alyssa is at a stage where she needs to grow and make some of her own choices; her time with the Blue Devils is a great opportunity for that. Seeing Dillon become his own man is something I have looked forward to for many years. My dad died when I was eighteen. He never got the chance to see me grow beyond my teen years. I appreciate every aspect of Dillon’s maturation process. Jenn and Andy’s process of becoming a couple has been fun to watch. As she “leaves” us and “cleaves” to Andy, we are witnessing a process that is not only natural, but also fun to watch. Any case of struggling to let her go at this age, and stage of her life, would be nothing short of unhealthy.

I once heard hilarious speaker at a pastor’s conference talking about these types of changes. He said something like, “You know what freedom is? Freedom is when the last kid moves out and the dog dies!”

I told Yvonne the other day that I would like to get a dog someday down the road. She gave me a look that said, “Are you kidding?”