Heading Into a New Chapter

The Saturday before last, my 22 year old son mustered up the necessary courage, and asked his sweetheart to marry him. She said yes. I instantly felt older… Despite the fact that Dillon’s fiancé is a wonderful girl and will be a great addition to our family, I am somewhat sobered about the forthcoming nuptials. I feel great joy in my heart for both of them (especially Dillon) at the same time as I find uncertainty about whether or not I have done what is necessary to prepare Dillon for his life as a husband, and ultimately, a father.


A couple of months ago Biola University prof Tim Muehlhoff was speaking at church and he said something like: “Our jobs as parents is not to have happy 15 year-olds, it is to raise well-adjusted 23 year-olds.” I think my wife and I have done a pretty good job of this with both of our adult children; my concern is about how well I have equipped him for what comes next. I feel a sense of urgency about this. The opportunities to be a positive influence to him at this stage of his life, before he becomes a lot more “hers” and significantly less “ours”, seems to be disappearing like the grains of sand in an hourglass.*


Looking back at my life and how I lived it during my twenties and thirties there are some things I wish I could re-do. By the grace of God parenting came pretty natural to both Yvonne and me.
Nevertheless, because one makes good choices in one area of life that does not guarantee that good decisions will be made in all areas of life- this is the story of my life.

I often wonder “what is the difference between someone who makes good decisions and someone who makes bad decisions.” Do some people just make good decisions, and become successful in all areas of life- and some not? Or, do those who know how to make good decisions teach that art to their children and continue a legacy of success in their families?

I hope that I have done well to teach my adult children how to make good decisions. Both Yvonne and I have been very pretty transparent with our kids about the “bad” decisions that we have made; hoping that they can see our mistakes and succeed where we have failed.


I have a little over a year until the game changes significantly, I hope that I can make the best of what little time I have.




* The one thousand miles between us does not help either.